Friday, July 27, 2007

Norwegians from Minnesota

Two Norwegian hunters from Minnesota got a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose. They bagged six. As they started loading the plane for the return trip, the pilot said the plane could take only four moose. The two lads objected strongly.

"Last year we shot six and the pilot let us put them all on board and he had the same plane as yours!"

Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. However, even on full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down a few moments after takeoff.

Climbing out of the wreck one Norski asked the other, "Any idea where we are?" "Yaaah, I tink we's pretty close to where we crashed last year."

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Very Nice

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Have Brain, Must Travel

These are incredibly exciting times for space exploration. NASA currently operates more than 50 robotic spacecraft that are studying Earth and reaching throughout the solar system, from Mercury to Pluto and beyond. Another 40 unmanned NASA missions are in development, and space agencies in Europe, Russia, Japan, India and China are running or building their own robotic craft. With such an armada at our disposal, delivering a stream of scientific data from so many distant ports, you might think that researchers like me who are involved in robotic space exploration would dismiss astronaut missions as costly and unnecessary. To the contrary: many of us embrace human exploration as a worthy goal in its own right and as a critically important part of space science in the 21st century.

Although astronaut missions are much more expensive and risky than robotic craft, they are absolutely critical to the success of our exploration program. Why? Because space exploration is an adventure--a human adventure--that has historically enjoyed broad public support precisely because of the pride we take from it. President John F. Kennedy committed the U.S. to sending astronauts to the moon to make a statement about the power of democracy and freedom, not to do science. As a by-product, some outstanding lunar science was done, leading ultimately to an understanding of the moon's origin. What is more, the Apollo moon program trained and inspired an entire generation of researchers and engineers, who made the breakthroughs that paved the way for robotic missions, as well as much of the technology that we take for granted today.

Letting the Apollo program end prematurely was a phenomenal mistake. NASA's subsequent strategy for human exploration, focused on space shuttle missions and orbital space stations, turned out to be uninspiring and tragically flawed. The recent successes of the Mars rovers, the Cassini probe to Saturn and other robotic missions may signal a renaissance, but the situation is still precarious. Indeed, the post-Apollo decline in public interest in space exploration reverberates today in the debates over NASA's budget and the general skepticism about the agency's future relevance, especially among the generation now entering the workforce. Further triumphs of the robotic missions will be possible only if public and political interest is rebuilt and sustained by a reinvigorated program of human exploration.

What is more, human brains will be vitally needed in many future missions. Although robots have proved their worth in documenting and measuring the characteristics of distant places, they fall far short of humans when it comes to making judgments, incorporating broader contexts into decision making and learning from their experiences. Some of these capabilities can be programmed, and so-called machine learning has advanced considerably in the past few decades. But the neural complexity that is so often needed to make discoveries--the same combination of logic, experience and gut instinct required to solve a mystery--cannot easily be distilled to a series of "if-then" statements in a computer algorithm. Robotic brains will lag far behind m these kinds of abilities for a longtime to come, perhaps forever, thus placing severe constraints on the science they can do on other planets.

Robotic craft have worked well for the first age of space exploration, when simply flying a probe past .1 planet or landing on an alien terrain was enough to make dramatic discoveries. That era, however, is coming to an end. Now we are entering a new age of space exploration in which we must look more carefully at such planetary landscapes, as well as at what lies underneath them--analyzing the rocks, soils and gases of distant worlds in greater detail to flesh out the history of our solar system. This kind of science absolutely requires human explorers. In this new era, we will need brave people with brains to boldly go where no robot can take us.

By Jim Bell

No-Gain Guide To Vacation Dining

From all-you-can-eat cruising to fireside camping, how to eat, drink, and still stay slim on your next getaway

IT'S YOUR VACATION-- you've earned the right to indulge. The trick is to not undo all the health gains you've made the rest of the year. Here, simple strategies that let you have your cake, fruity drink, or burger-- without gaining an ounce.

In the Car

Driving all day cuts your average daily calorie burn by 400. Follow these tips to help readjust your intake (from your normal 1,800 calories to 1,400, for example) and bypass the thousands of junk-food-filled rest stops along US highways.

• Drink up

"The recirculated air in a car can make you thirsty, which you might mistake for hunger," says Charles Stuart Platkin, MPH, founder of Keep plenty of water on hand.

Seek fresh food

Although a handful of drive-thrus sit right off the highway, a grocery store--with many more good-for-you options-is probably only a few minutes further; there you can get a healthy meal-turkey on whole wheat from the deli, an apple, and fat-free yogurt--for less than 350 calories. Or pick up a copy of Healthy Highways, a guide to more than 1,900 nutritious eateries across the United States. Download updates at before you depart to help you plan your meal stops.

Pack healthy snacks

Load a cooler with low-cal, protein-rich foods, such as apple slices and peanut butter--the protein keeps you fuller longer. Our favorite: Rubbermaid 9-Liter Thermo-Electric Travel Cooler and Warmer ($50; Target). For a longer haul, consider renting a car with a built-in cooler, like the Dodge Caliber or Avenger.

At a Campsite

Fresh air, stories around the fire, and dinners under the stars: For most of us, that's the perfect recipe for a weekend in the woods. Here, the right ingredients to make it healthier.

• Trade the dogs, swap the s'mores

Instead of all-beef, get turkey, veggie, or tofu hot dogs--all lower in fat. And to shave many calories off dessert, try this tweaked s'mores recipe: Break up a 100-calorie Hershey's Dark chocolate or a Cadbury Thins Premium Dark chocolate bar and wrap it in foil with one large marshmallow and sliced banana; roast a few minutes over the fire, then grab a spoon.

• Make a fish stop

Swing by a grocery store on the way to the grounds for a piece of trout or salmon. (You don't have to catch it--unless you want to.) Season with olive oil, salt, and pepper and serve with easy-to-prepare dehydrated vegetables (harmony has a great selection). For simple outdoor grilling, get the Coleman Fold 'n' Go Propane InstaStart Stove ($80, fuel sold separately; available at sporting-goods stores). With two separate skillets, you can make the fish in one and veggies in the other.

Fuel up for hikes, snack lightly for strolls

Pack some sustenance if you're heading out for 2-or 3-mile stretches. Easy-to-tote fruit-and-nut bars such as Lärabar (starting at 190 cal, 9 g fat) or Clif Nectar (starting at 150 cal, 5 g fat) provide the energy you need, and you'll burn off the calories. For less strenuous exercise, stick to fruit or a few almonds.

On a Cruise

With pizza served at 3 PM, dinner at 6 PM, and a 24-hour dessert cart, most cruises are one big, endless buffet. "Just because they feed you 18 times a day doesn't mean you have to eat 18 times a day," says Davida F. Kruger, MSN, author of The Diabetes Travel Guide. Try to follow your at-home eating schedule, as well as these tips:

• Rein in the rum runners

Enjoy your favorite fruity concoction with lunch or a glass of wine with dinner, but when you're lounging by the pool, strolling the deck, or playing a midnight game of poker, order an alcohol-free fruit smoothie in a 5-ounce martini glass for about 90 calories or a seltzer spiked with juice and lime for around 30.

Scan the menus

Several cruise lines provide meals low in calories and fat: Cunard's Queen Mary 2 offers gourmet options prepared by Canyon Ranch Spa chefs, including tortilla soup with pico de gallo (85 cal, 5 g fat) and spinach and roasted beet salad (110 cal, 4 g fat). Crystal Cruises has low-carb ice cream, and Silversea Cruises offers Iced Key Lime Cheesecake and Peach Crumb Cobbler at less than 200 calories each.

Always use the salad plate

Be it for the breakfast bar, lunch buffet, or dinner entree, this tried-and-true trick will help keep your portions in control. Use it to eat a salad before each meal, too--another way to cut your total calories.
The Top Places to Stay Fit
We looked at dozens of airports, hotels, and fast-food restaurants to find these healthiest locales.


Detroit Metropolitan Wayne County

All but 2 of this airport's 56 eateries were deemed healthy in a 2006 survey. Top picks for high-fiber, cholesterol-free meals: grilled veggie sandwich at Max & Erma's and sushi and seaweed salad at Musashi. Pack gym clothes for a long layover: $15 buys a day pass to the Westin hotel's gym (terminal A). Find other in-airport workout centers at



Avoid the breakfast items (too high in fat), but enjoy a healthy offering of salads and sandwiches, such as the Southwest Chargrilled Salad (240 cal, 8 g fat) and the Chargrilled Chicken Sandwich (270 cal, 3.5 g fat).


Westin Hotels

You can request an in-room treadmill or stationary bike, plus your pick of Pilates, yoga, and Spinning DVDs. Some US Virgin Island locations offer hula hoop classes set to '50s music, or you can play tennis with a pro on Grand Slam surfaces at the Grand Bahama Island resort. The Chicago Westin even offers freshly laundered workout clothes and sneakers.

Three new, ice-cold, low-cal treats for the road

• JAMBA JUICE PEACH PERFECTION SMOOTHIE A blend of peaches, mangoes, and strawberries, it provides three servings of fruit, as well as 4 g of fiber. (200 cal, 0 g fat)

• STARBUCKS ORANGE CRÉME FRAPPUCCINO LIGHT This combo of cream and zesty orange juice has half the calories of the full-fat version. (110 cal, 0 g fat)

• SEATTLE'S BEST COFFEE COLD BREWED VANILLA LATTE Get a caffeine fix with this mix of iced coffee, vanilla syrup, and milk (ask for fat-free). Prefer soy milk or sugar-free syrup? It's fully customizable. (80 cal, 0 g fat)

By Amy Gorin


Last in Line

A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. As they stand at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter Paradise and meet their maker, God decides to grant each person one wish because of the grief they have experienced.

They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is.

“I want to be gorgeous,“ she says, and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.

The second one in line hears this and says, “I want to be gorgeous too.”

Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.

This goes on for a while with each one asking to be gorgeous, but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in the line starts laughing.

When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing his head off.

Finally, God reaches this last guy and asks him what his wish
will be. The guy eventually calms down and says: "Make 'em all ugly again."


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Monday, July 23, 2007

Funny Photoshop

Funny Photoshop (Pics)

Funny Photoshop (Pics)

Funny Photoshop (Pics)

Funny Photoshop (Pics)

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Friday, June 15, 2007

The Mule

An old farmer had a horrible mother-in-law who nagged him mercilessly. From morning till night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something.

The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot. One day, when he was out plowing, his mother-in-law brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began haranguing him again. Complain, nag, nag; it just went on and on.

All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet; caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot. At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement.

This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it.

So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men.

The old farmer said: "Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice she looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd nod my head in agreement."

"And what about the men?" the minister asked.

"They wanted to know if the mule was for sale."